I’ve taken my time with this question because it’s very important and I have to be honest, I’m struggling with myself too. First off I post a lot of very sexy women, men and other humans because representation is important and one of the biggest problems with being in a fat body is that we are not represented in the wide world very often and so it becomes very hard to see ourselves as anything other than a sidekick or the butt of a joke.
Secondly what I have learned very recently is you have to ask yourself what is actually sexy? For me it’s a human being truly owning their body - not confidence so much as comfort. Owning your rolls and stretch marks and small boobs and fat thighs and body hair, because they are yours and that makes them wonderful.
I personally am attracted to round arses and soft tummys and breasts that hang gently and the downy hair on anyone’s stomach and broad shoulders that could hold me up and that little place between the neck and the shoulders and the dip of collar bones. The size of those places doesn’t stop them being beautiful. Sensual. Sexy.
Stare into the mirror until your face is just shapes, just lines, your body a blur of colour and space and see it as a work of art. Decide which painter would have captured you best and name yourself a work classical beauty. Find one thing you like about yourself and learn to adore it. Wear flowers in your hair and the brightest red lipstick you can find and hipster glasses and big ass doc martins and make space for your fat body in the world and pretty soon you’ll learn to love the space you take up.
Hope that helps anon. Self-love is the greatest thing you can learn. x x x